When Your Best is "Good Enough"
Today started exactly the way it shouldn't for a 26-year-old student nurse battling full-time university and placement hours: deep in the rabbit hole of TikTok and my socials. Sound familiar? That’s my life right now.
Eventually, the guilt kicked in, and I thought, I need to do something "good" for myself. Cue the self-care mission: I booked a reformer Pilates class and convinced myself to knock out 20 minutes on the spin bike first.
Honestly, that bike ride was a mistake. My knee has been complaining lately, but today, it was screaming. By the time I finished the Pilates class, it was throbbing, swollen, and letting me know exactly how much it hated my life choices. But you know what? I’m still glad I went. Sometimes the mental win is bigger than the physical pain. (Don't worry, I'm icing it now!)
The Placement Struggle is Real
I dragged myself back home for the most thrilling part of the day: laundry and tidying my room. The truly glamorous life of a healthcare student.
Finally, it was time for placement. This is where the real struggle was today. The ward is great, I feel safe, I feel comfortable, and my team is supportive. But today, I was just health-cared out. That's the only way to describe it. It's that heavy feeling when your tank is running on fumes and the thought of putting on scrubs one more time is exhausting.
And you know what? That’s okay. It's a real feeling that happens in this profession.
What I Learned From Running on Empty
Despite the fatigue and the sore knee, here are the three big takeaways I'm carrying into tomorrow:
1. The Impact is Worth It. I am so incredibly grateful for the feedback I'm getting on the ward and the little positive impact I can make on my patients' days. It’s a powerful reminder of why I’m doing all this.
2. My Circle is My Lifeline. Huge shout out to my family and friends. The constant support and encouragement they pour into me while I try to balance everything is the fuel that keeps me going. You can't pour from an empty cup, and they're constantly refilling mine.
3. Rest is Not a Reward, It's a Necessity. This is the big one. It is totally okay to have an off day or a lazy day. Studying and working full-time in nursing is forcing me to learn how crucial it is to listen to my body. Some days, some weeks, you truly won't have 100 percent in your tank. And that is so perfectly fine.
The hardest part is shutting up the internal critic, that negative voice that says, "You should be studying! You should be doing more!"
Choosing Joy Over Guilt
Instead of letting the guilt win today, I acknowledged my limits: "Hey, you know what? I'm not doing my best today."
Then, I flipped the script. I said, "Okay, let me do three small things that bring me joy."
Podcasts and Music: An immediate mood shift.
Watching My Show: A brain break that requires zero effort.
Reflecting and Writing: Getting all the swirling thoughts out of my head and onto paper, accepting that "I gave my best today," even if my best was just "good enough."
So, as I sit here typing this out, I want to keep it real with you all: I can't promise daily posts. My schedule is absolutely brutal, and there will be days or weeks where I just have to drop the ball on social media to pick up my textbooks, my scrubs, or just a good night's sleep. I'll aim for consistency, but my mental and physical health has to come first.
Thanks for following along on this messy, rewarding journey!
How do you quiet that negative voice on your off days?