🕹️ Game Over, Player One: It’s Time for The Great Dating Reset
I’m 26, and I live out in rural Australia, a place where the Wi-Fi is patchy, but the dating drama is always 5G.
Honestly, my geography is irrelevant. The core truth is this: We are all tired of modern dating. We're exhausted by the endless swiping, the ghosting, and the feeling that we need a strategy guide just to land a simple, respectful date.
We were raised on stories of old-school love our grandparents meeting at a dance, our parents locking eyes across a pub. Now? We're the generation spending hours staring at a screen, playing a glitched-out video game where the main objective is apparently to not catch feelings, and the biggest achievement is surviving a conversation without being asked for a spontaneous, indecent photo.
If you’re between 18 and 40, and you’re ready to trade in the toxic scoreboard for a real connection, this is your wake-up call. Dating is not a game, and people are not pawns. We are starting the revolution right here.
🛑 The Three Worst Levels of Modern Dating
Let's call out the worst villains in this digital dungeon we’ve created:
1. The Algorithm Abyss (A.K.A. The Small Town Struggle)
Living regionally, my dating pool is less of a pool and more of a puddle. I run out of matches faster than I run out of petrol. It feels like the apps are constantly saying, "Here are the same 12 people you rejected last month. Try again!" And for my city counterparts? You might have millions of matches, but the result is the same: Digital abundance that leads to emotional scarcity. The algorithm prioritizes fleeting engagement over genuine potential, trapping us in an endless, meaningless scroll.
2. The Transactional Trap (Where the Nudes Live)
We've all been there. You match with someone who seems decent, you exchange witty banter about your favorite takeaway order, and then they drop the conversational bomb: "Hey, can you send me some pics?"
My dear 18-40 year olds, we need to be crystal clear: This is the opposite of romance. This isn't courtship; it's a vending machine transaction. It tells me you see me as a momentary distraction, not a human being with a personality, goals, and a killer sense of humor. This isn't flirting; it’s an insult disguised as a compliment.
3. The "Dating is a Game" Mindset
This is the central lie we need to shatter. Modern dating has been poisoned by "rules," "power plays," and "strategies." Waiting exactly three days to text back. Not complimenting them so you don't look "too eager." Ghosting instead of communicating.
NEWSFLASH: Dating is about finding a person you genuinely like. It's not chess. It's not The Sims. The minute you treat a human being like a level to be completed or a prize to be won, you lose—because you lose your integrity and their respect. We need to stop rewarding this low-effort, manipulative behavior.
🔑 The Shift: How to Start Demanding Old School Love
We cannot go back to the 1950s, but we can absolutely reclaim effort, respect, and emotional maturity. The antidote to a toxic dating culture is radical clarity.
1. Be the Anti-Gamer: State Your Intentions
If dating is a game, make your profile the instruction manual that says, "I don't play." Stop being vague like, "I’m just seeing what’s out there, no drama." Instead, communicate what you DO want. Try something clear and intentional like: “I am genuinely looking for a relationship built on kindness and effort. If your texting style involves more than one-word answers, let's chat.” or “I’m happy to take things slow, but my ultimate goal is a committed partnership. Looking for someone serious about life (and maybe a bit ridiculous about karaoke).”
2. The Power of the Politeness Filter
When you receive that inevitable, rude request or low-effort message, don't just ignore it , educate and eliminate.
When asked for a fast physical exchange, be firm:
"That's not where my head's at, sorry. I'm looking to meet someone who values conversation over coercion. If you're looking for something purely transactional, I'm wishing you well and moving on."
Or, if you want to keep the tone light:
"My default setting is 'fully clothed, talking about books.' We can try that one first."
3. Move from Screen to Scene (Quickly!)
Digital pen-pals are cute, but they don't lead to connection. The only way to find out if the person on the screen is real is to meet the person in the cafe.
Ask for the date with confidence:
"I love that you're into [shared interest]! I'm ready to upgrade this connection from 'pixels on a phone' to 'two people having coffee.' I’m free on Tuesday for a 30-minute dose of real-world chemistry."
If they resist a simple, public, low-stakes date, they are likely not serious about the person you are.
We are all looking for that effortless, amazing, old-school love—the kind that makes for a great story years down the track. But that story won't start with a three-day text strategy or a nude request. It starts with mutual respect, clear boundaries, and the courage to say:
My time is valuable. My heart is not a scoreboard. And I refuse to play this game anymore.
Let’s ditch the controllers and start treating each other like the amazing humans we are.